It's a.....

Before I make any *ahem* big announcements, I feel this strong need to express my thanks.  Expressing my gratitude has been difficult lately, as I feel like my whole life has been flipped upside down these past few months. 

                To begin, I want to express gratitude to my Heavenly Father.  As many of you may already know, Judd and I were not trying to get pregnant yet.  We are both still in school, and I had been planning on going to grad school before having kids.  Now, I know that my original educational goals are not gone forever; they may just be suspended for the time.  Either way, finding out that we were going to be parents so soon was a shock.  But I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who pushes me out of my comfort zone.  I know that I can be stubborn and difficult to work with, but I am grateful for this process that Heavenly Father has put me through.  I truly hope that at the end of this, I will be as smooth as a stone in the river or as refined as a diamond.  Sometimes bending to God’s will is difficult, but I know that I need to be grateful for his plan for me.  I keep telling myself that God has not led me astray yet, so why would he do so now?

                Along with expressing thanks to my Heavenly Father, I need to express gratitude towards my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I will always be eternally indebted to him for the Atonement.  How grateful I am that he went through the sins and pains of the world for me!  So that he can succor me in my time of need!  Christ has been a constant companion by my side although I have not always been in tune with the spirit enough to see him there.  He has helped me through this change both physically and spiritually.  When I was really sick at the beginning of my pregnancy, I knew that Christ knew exactly how I felt.  He had already been through the Atonement so that He knew how to comfort and strengthen me. 

                Christ has also helped me spiritually.  I have come to realize that in order to feel the joys that motherhood and pregnancy have to offer me, I need to repent of my attitude and thoughts.  And when I have found those sweet moments of pouring out my soul to my Savior, he has helped to encourage me to find that broken heart and contrite spirit.  He has encouraged me to turn to him, to study his words in the scriptures, to listen to his prophet’s counsel, and to always have a prayer in my heart.  It has not been easy for me to get to this point.  I would like to think that I am one of those super spiritual people who can be so in tune with the spirit that they can change the course of their life in less than an hour and not have their testimony shaken.  And although I look up to those people and strive to be like that one day, I am not.  At least, I am not there yet. But I know that the Savior knows personally where I am at.  He knows what my heart and spirit can handle and what it cannot.  He and Heavenly Father would never give me something that they know I couldn’t handle.  I just need to continue to put my faith in them and know that they have a plan for me and for my life.

                I also need to express my great gratitude for Judd.  He has been the sunshine in my life when I thought there would never be any again.  He has been my rock, my solid ground, my shoulder to cry on, my listening ear, and my cheerleader.  He has been a true example of unconditional love towards whatever life throws his way.  He has been my protector and my friend.  I cannot think of anyone in the world who will be a better father than Judd.  He already loves our baby so much.  From the moment he found out that I was NOT teasing him when I told him I was pregnant (I guess I have teased him about it one too many times before), to this very day, he has shown nothing but love and gratitude.  I sometimes look at Judd and think about how lucky I am to have him.  He is always so wise and so kind.  I could not be where I am today without him in my life. 

                I could go on and on with expressing gratitude for all of the amazing people in my life, but I figure that I should just announce what we are having now.  So without further ado….. It’s a girl!  Yeah!  We are so excited!  I really secretly wanted a girl.  I kept having all of these girl names come to me when we first found out we were pregnant, but no boy names.  I was so worried that we were going to have a baby boy but then not have a name for him!  So although I am not going to announce our baby girl’s name yet, we are so excited to have her come to our family!  We love you baby girl!  Can’t wait to meet you in March!

(Telling Kirt and Caroline we are expecting)