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Monday, July 28, 2014

Z&N: Soon-To-Be BFFs

The other day my Aunt Ann Marie asked me about how Nixon was doing with Zoey.  I guess I haven’t really said anything about their relationship, but I would like to record it because I think they have a pretty cute dynamic.

Judd and I never did the whole “bring one of your baby’s blankets home before the baby so the dog can get used to it” thing, but I kind of wish we had.  I don’t know if it would have necessarily changed anything, but maybe we will try it for Baby #2.   

When Nixon and Zoey first met, I don’t think Nixon liked her.  They didn’t hit it off immediately like you read about in books or see in the movies.  I think that was partly my fault because I was so protective over Zoey.  I would be sitting on my bed or couch holding this little life in my hands and then my dog who had just been outside doing who knows what would come over and get all up in her face and try to smell her and I would just push him away.  Nixon and I have always snuggled on the couch, but if Zoey and I were on the couch then he couldn’t even be near it. 

I know that I probably took the wrong approach to this but I was so scared and nervous about being a first time mom that I wasn’t thinking rationally.  Anyway, after a couple of weeks of behaving like this, I noticed that Nixon stopped coming near me.  Not in the giving-me-and-the-baby-distance sense, but because he genuinely stopped liking me.  Even if I wasn’t holding Zoey and would try to cuddle with Nixon, he would avoid me or escape my grasp once he got the chance.

That really bothered me—especially since Nixon has always been my little companion.  I felt guilty about the way I had introduced Zoey into Nixon’s world.  I had never considered how having a baby in the house would change Nixon’s life and I hadn’t respected him enough to help ease the transition. 

So that is when I decided to make a change.  I would let Nixon come up and sniff Zoey instead of my usual pushing him away.  I would spend more Nixon-and-me time by taking him on longer walks and playing games like fetch and tug-of-war.  And slowly I began to see a change in Nixon.

He began greeting me at the door again and also started to greet Zoey.  He would walk up to her carseat and sniff around.  Judd and I joke that he does that to make sure that we brought the right baby back.  I also find him walking up to Zoey while she is doing tummy-time and sniff her.

It looks like Nixon really has begun to accept Zoey as a member of the pack.  Especially since he has started to cuddle up to her when they sleep.  Anyone who knows Nixon knows that he doesn’t choose cuddle partners lightly.  So when Zoey and I were lying in bed one morning and Zoey snuggled up to her instead of me, I was shocked—in a good way.  He has only done it a couple of other times since then, but that alone shows me that Nixon and Zoey are going to get along just fine.

We are still getting used to having Zoey in this world, and with her changing so fast I bet we will never get used to it.  But we wouldn’t have it any other way.  I snapped these pictures this morning of Nixon greeting Zoey when we came home.  They are pretty cute I guess.





Friday, July 18, 2014

Tested and True (Secondhand Serenade, anyone??)

I doubt most people look at their lives and think, “This is exactly what I wanted out of life.  This is what I planned and now I have made it.”  If you are one of those few, then congratulations!  I mean that with the most sincerity.   You should be proud of the fact that you are exactly where you want to be in life.  Now if you are not one of those people (like me) then I have two words for you: It’s okay. 

I am not where I want to be yet, but I am okay with that.  I have come to realize that life is a journey, not a destination.  And although I am not where I want to be yet, I have hope that I can get there so long as I keep my head up and keep trying. 

I had a lot of questions when I was pregnant.  I knew that they would all be answered once I held my little baby in my arms.  Well now that Zoey is born, I can happily say that all of my questions have been answered.  Kind of.  They have all been answered in different ways than I would have expected.  And guess what?  A lot of my answers were this: I will get the real answer later.  And I have come to peace with that.  Sometimes not having the answers is part of the adventure.  How boring would it be if you knew who the murderer was halfway through your murder mystery novel?



One of my biggest set backs is playing the “What If” game.  What if I had decided not to go to college? What if I moved to NYC to pursue my dance dream?  What if I had married Johnny who I had a crush on in sixth grade?  What if I gone on a mission?  What if?  I often get distracted of looking at the world and at my small part in it and think to myself, “Come on, Cam.  You can do better than that.”  But life isn’t about who is the best dancer, or who has the hottest husband (even though I do).  It is about becoming the best I personally can be.  One of my favorite quotes as of late is by Sheri Dew.

“Life is a test. It is only a test--meaning that's all it is. Nothing more, but nothing less. It is a test of our convictions and priorities, our faith and faithfulness, our patience and resilience, and in the end, our ultimate desires. It is a test to determine if we want to be part of the kingdom of God more than we want anything else.”

So I can’t keep playing the “What If” game anymore.  Because when I play that game my future is no longer my own.  It becomes trapped and surrounded by distractions of my past decision.  And if my path is plagued by my past, then how can I carve a new road for my future?




I know that this blog post has a lot of rambling, but I just wanted to say that I am in control of my future.  I am writing these words more for me than for my readers, but the truth is, I am not limited.  Everyday is a new chance for me to show Heavenly Father that I am capable of being tested.  Zoey has been my biggest test so far, but I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for giving that test to me.