To Changes and Hope!

I got a DSLR camera for my birthday/Christmas.  Let’s say it could not have come at a better time.  With only taking 6 credits this semester and it only being the first week of classes, I am already driving myself nuts.  I have already taken all of the quizzes in one of my classes for the entire semester and have begun lining up people for feature stories for my other class.  Already this semester seems foreign to me, even though this is my fourth year at BYU.  Maybe it is because I know that change is just around the corner and I am scared. 

I suck at change.  I have never been good at it.  Ask my mom, my sisters, Judd, probably even Nixon.  They can all confirm that when it comes to change I am a mess.  But at the same time that I am so scared for what is coming, I can’t help but feel some extreme excitement bubble up when I think about what my future holds.

I am going to be a mom.

I kind of already am, as I have been carrying this sweet little girl for the past seven months (has it really been seven months already?!?!).  I feel this deep, strong connection with her.  I love feeling her kick.  I love pushing my belly and feeling her shift and move.  I am amazed that I have been so blessed to have a child and to carry her.  I know it is a blessing that so many women want, but not every women can get.

I love being with Judd, watching him, seeing his mannerisms, and thinking, “I hope our baby is just like him.”  And how wonderful it is that she very well could be!  I love that she is just as much him as she is me.

I used to feel uncomfortable thinking that my body was no longer my own.  I used to crave to have my body back.  To not have to think about the life inside of me before I do anything.  But now I don’t mind that anymore.  Because I know that my baby needs me—the same way I need her.  And whenever I “forget” that she is there, she likes to kick me just to remind me.  Oh, what a sweet relationship we have with each other!  I already know that she is going to be a bit sassy, just like her mother.

I know that I still have two months to go, but when I think about what I have been through, I can’t help but feel grateful.  I have matured (finally) in ways that only a baby can make happen.  I finally understand why Heavenly Father commanded Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth (Gensis 1:28).  It really does bring a joy that nothing else can relate to. 

So here is to a new year full of fun, adventures, and change.  Just to end with one of my new favorite quotes:

 “Dear God,

If today I lose my hope,

Please remind me that your plans are better than my dreams.”

I truly believe that our Heavenly Father loves us and has a plan for us.  How grateful I am to be given the opportunity to raise one of his precious children.  I know that I am not the only one who has had feelings of fear and confusion, but I promise that as long as you keep your faith it will get better!  Remember that you are loved!

Yeah For Awkward Christmas Cards!

Wray Family's 2013 Christmas Letter

2013 has been a great year for the Wray’s.  We have been surrounded by good people and experienced things that have made us grow closer to each other than we ever thought possible. 

Judd

Judd’s year started off with him finishing up his pre-requisites for BYU’s accounting program and then later getting accepted into the program.  He has been working hard and studying long hours so that he can get good grades and be recruited to work for one of the Big 4 once he graduates.  If Camie wasn’t already used to him working such long hours during the summer, she probably would have driven herself nuts with how much time he spends in the library.  But for as hard as he works, he plays just as hard.  This year Judd scored the winning goal in the championship game for his BYU intramural soccer league.  He is once again a champion and even has a t-shirt to prove it. 

It wasn’t until Thanksgiving break when Judd and Camie saw Disney’s Frozen that Judd had his most embarrassing moment of 2013.  Judd and Camie were discussing Frozen after they saw it when Judd turned to her and said, “You know, Tangled and Frozen are two of my favorite shows right now (in that order).”  And there you have it.  Two weeks later Judd asked Camie if she would go see it with him again in theatres so they went.  Now we know that Judd’s kryptonite is Disney princess movies. 

Camie

Camie also was accepted into her program of choice at BYU: Public Relations.  She only wishes that she had listened to her mom her freshmen year of college when her mom told her that she needed to major in PR.  Instead, Camie decided to try every other major on campus before realizing her love for PR.  And after trying to weasel her way out of having to work this summer, Judd finally convinced Camie to apply for an internship at a data center company in DC.  Camie loved her summer interning for this data center company and now can tell you anything you want to know about colocation and the cloud.

                

When Camie had the opportunity to take Judd to Disneyland for the first time ever this year, she was so excited!  However, while eating at the ESPN restaurant in Downtown Disney, Camie left the table to take use the restroom.  She walked into the bathroom, spotted two men washing their hands at the think, mentally called them perverts for being in the women’s bathroom, noticed a few urinals against the wall, and walked to the only stall in the bathroom before realizing that she was in the men’s bathroom.  She turned to face the two men staring at her, apologized and then b-lined it for the door. Since suffering from the embarrassment of that experience, she now checks out every bathroom sign before entering.

               

Nixon

Nixon’s favorite part of 2013 was going to Dog Park with Camie every day this summer.  He would play with the other dogs, run around for hours, and try to get as many strangers to pet him as possible.  There was one day at the Dog Park when Camie decided to play with another little Westie instead of Nixon.  Nixon was too busy playing with some other dogs, so Camie didn’t think he would mind.  She was petting the other Westie and talking to its owner when Nixon walked right up to Camie and decided to pee on her leg.  I guess Nixon was trying to show the other Westie that Camie was his owner and not to get any ideas.  Of course, Camie immediately took Nixon home to wash her jeans and jump in the shower.  After some serious talks, Nixon now knows that it is impolite to mark his spot on people.

                

Baby Wray

Last but definitely not least, Camie and Judd found out this year that in March of 2014 they will be having their first child!  Their baby girl has brought so much love into their home already and they can’t wait to meet her already.  Baby Girl loves going to yoga class with Camie and always starts kicking when she hears Judd’s voice.  She loves making Camie crave hot chocolate and pickles (weird combination) and thinks it is funny to make Camie’s belly bounce up and down whenever she tries to run.  Baby Girl is already being spoiled by her parents, aunts and uncles, friends, and grandparents!  Camie has been busy planning the nursery and Judd has been making sure she doesn’t spend too much money on baby clothes, but usually gives in when he sees how cute the outfits are.

                

We will always be grateful for the year 2013 and can’t wait to see what 2014 has in store for us!  Thanks to all of the love and support from our family and friends.  We wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

It's a.....

Before I make any *ahem* big announcements, I feel this strong need to express my thanks.  Expressing my gratitude has been difficult lately, as I feel like my whole life has been flipped upside down these past few months. 

                To begin, I want to express gratitude to my Heavenly Father.  As many of you may already know, Judd and I were not trying to get pregnant yet.  We are both still in school, and I had been planning on going to grad school before having kids.  Now, I know that my original educational goals are not gone forever; they may just be suspended for the time.  Either way, finding out that we were going to be parents so soon was a shock.  But I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who pushes me out of my comfort zone.  I know that I can be stubborn and difficult to work with, but I am grateful for this process that Heavenly Father has put me through.  I truly hope that at the end of this, I will be as smooth as a stone in the river or as refined as a diamond.  Sometimes bending to God’s will is difficult, but I know that I need to be grateful for his plan for me.  I keep telling myself that God has not led me astray yet, so why would he do so now?

                Along with expressing thanks to my Heavenly Father, I need to express gratitude towards my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I will always be eternally indebted to him for the Atonement.  How grateful I am that he went through the sins and pains of the world for me!  So that he can succor me in my time of need!  Christ has been a constant companion by my side although I have not always been in tune with the spirit enough to see him there.  He has helped me through this change both physically and spiritually.  When I was really sick at the beginning of my pregnancy, I knew that Christ knew exactly how I felt.  He had already been through the Atonement so that He knew how to comfort and strengthen me. 

                Christ has also helped me spiritually.  I have come to realize that in order to feel the joys that motherhood and pregnancy have to offer me, I need to repent of my attitude and thoughts.  And when I have found those sweet moments of pouring out my soul to my Savior, he has helped to encourage me to find that broken heart and contrite spirit.  He has encouraged me to turn to him, to study his words in the scriptures, to listen to his prophet’s counsel, and to always have a prayer in my heart.  It has not been easy for me to get to this point.  I would like to think that I am one of those super spiritual people who can be so in tune with the spirit that they can change the course of their life in less than an hour and not have their testimony shaken.  And although I look up to those people and strive to be like that one day, I am not.  At least, I am not there yet. But I know that the Savior knows personally where I am at.  He knows what my heart and spirit can handle and what it cannot.  He and Heavenly Father would never give me something that they know I couldn’t handle.  I just need to continue to put my faith in them and know that they have a plan for me and for my life.

                I also need to express my great gratitude for Judd.  He has been the sunshine in my life when I thought there would never be any again.  He has been my rock, my solid ground, my shoulder to cry on, my listening ear, and my cheerleader.  He has been a true example of unconditional love towards whatever life throws his way.  He has been my protector and my friend.  I cannot think of anyone in the world who will be a better father than Judd.  He already loves our baby so much.  From the moment he found out that I was NOT teasing him when I told him I was pregnant (I guess I have teased him about it one too many times before), to this very day, he has shown nothing but love and gratitude.  I sometimes look at Judd and think about how lucky I am to have him.  He is always so wise and so kind.  I could not be where I am today without him in my life. 

                I could go on and on with expressing gratitude for all of the amazing people in my life, but I figure that I should just announce what we are having now.  So without further ado….. It’s a girl!  Yeah!  We are so excited!  I really secretly wanted a girl.  I kept having all of these girl names come to me when we first found out we were pregnant, but no boy names.  I was so worried that we were going to have a baby boy but then not have a name for him!  So although I am not going to announce our baby girl’s name yet, we are so excited to have her come to our family!  We love you baby girl!  Can’t wait to meet you in March!

(Telling Kirt and Caroline we are expecting)

A He/She Post

<<He loves to read // She sings along to the radio>>

<<He whistles all the time // She practices her stand-up comedy in the shower>>

<<She loves pictures of puppies and kittens // He loves keeping up with the news>>

<<She loves green apples with salt // He cooks the best tilapia>>

<<He grew up painting houses // She pretends to be an interior decorator>>

<<He loves the San Diego temple // She loves the Salt Lake City temple>>

<<She is a beach bum // He dreams of moving to Hawaii>>

<<She loves Coke Slurpees from 7-Eleven // He loves pink lemonade Powerade>>

<<His favorite meal is chicken cordon blue // She is addicted to sweets>>

<<He aspires to be an entrepreneur // She aspires to be a lobbyist>>

<<She has too many clothes // He still wears some clothes from high school>>

<<She believes in magic // He does too>>

<<He gets really sick in the car // She gets really sick everywhere>>

<<She is his best friend // He is her best friend>>

I've created a monster.

For those of you who are thinking that this blog post title is referring to my little baby, you are wrong.  At least I hope you are.  Who knows?  Maybe I will give birth to this baby and it will be a terror J.  I guess we won’t find out until March! 

                Anyway, when I say that I created a monster, I am referring to none other than Judd.  Let’s rewind.  When Judd and I got married a year and a half ago, he hated shopping.  He hated trying on new clothes; he hated going to the mall; he even hated talking about it.  Yeah.  It was that bad.  I thought that this was going to be an ongoing battle between Judd and me for the rest of our lives (i.e.; shopping for our kids), until this past summer.  Something changed within Judd.  And surprisingly, I know the exact moment when that change occurred.

                Judd was in desperate need of some new shorts.  He had three pairs that he would wash every three days.  Since he was doing summer sales and we were in humid DC, it was a big inconvenience to be doing laundry every three days because your shorts were dirty.  I had to stop by the mall anyway to return a shirt, so I forced Judd to come with me so we could grab him some more pairs of shorts.  We had parked near Nordstrom and I told him to sit by the chairs in the shoe section while I ran to bathroom. 

                Here is the thing about Nordstrom.  I love Nordstrom.  Am I rich enough to shop there yet?  No.  Do I aspire to someday be able to shop there?  Yes.  In the meantime, however, I am completely happy with the clearance section at Nordstrom Rack. 

                Back to Judd.  I came back from the bathroom only to find that Judd wasn’t there.  After looking around for him, I found him in the men’s section with a few pairs of shorts.  Great.  He had already beat me to the punch and found some shorts.  I was shocked that he was walking towards the dressing room with an attendant.  Did he realize where we were?  I always window shop and try on things at Nordstrom, but I never walk out of there with a bag in my hand unless the items inside were marked down.  Had he realized how much those FULL PRICED shorts were going to cost? 

                I followed him and the attendant into the dressing room.  Judd came out shortly after and showed me his shorts.  Wow.  He looked great in them.  They fit him perfectly.  I figured that from there we would look at the brand and see if we could find them online for a discounted price or purchase them with our Amazon gift cards.  But Judd said he was fine with buying them right there and then.  What.  Who was this man and what did he do with my husband?  Judd is the frugal one who never pays full price for anything!  I am the one who should be convincing him to buy them right now!

                Since that day, it is the running joke in my house that Judd owns more clothing from Nordstrom than I do.  And Judd’s opinion of shopping has only changed since then.  Like take tonight for example.  Guess what Judd and I did for FHE?  We went to the mall.  Did I try on any clothing?  Nope.  Did Judd?  You betcha.  And I even have a picture to prove it.

Here I am, sitting outside on the bench with six other guys while our dates try on clothes.  Classic Judd.  At least he loves enough to ask for my opinion on his clothing choice.  Love you Judd!  Thanks for never ceasing to surprise me!

Judd: The Closet Nerd

Life has been pretty normal around here.  For those of you who are wondering, Judd and I had a great time in DC, and survived the 32 hour drive back to Provo.  After that drive, the next time I want to cross the country, I will be flying.  No more road trips for me.  But life here in Provo has been great.  Judd and I have both started school again and are enjoying our classes.  The only thing that has really been different around here is my sudden need to get into holiday decorating.  Seriously though.  I spent my entire holiday budget on Halloween/fall decorations already.  I don’t know what I am going to do when Christmas time comes around.  I figure I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

                Judd has been doing well in the accounting program.  BYU’s accounting program has been ranked in the top three accounting programs internationally for as long as anyone can remember (that’s probably not true, but they do have a great record).  The first week of school they even gave Judd a free t-shirt with a giant #1 on it so that he could show off.  He says it is a night time shirt only, but I wear it around all the time because, unlike him, I am not very humble.  And when people assume that I am in the accounting program, I never correct them.  It has been pretty awesome for my social life.  Accounting majors are like celebrities on campus. 

                So while I walk around wearing Judd’s #1 shirt, he can be found studying in the business building so that he can get more free swag from recruiters (which he usually ends up giving to me).  And when Judd isn’t studying, he is found curled up on the couch reading another book.

                See this is the thing that most people don’t get about Judd.  When you meet Judd, he seems like one of those cool, popular kids.  And he is.  He was named Utah’s MVP his senior year, was captain of the soccer team that took state, has lots of friends, is great at organizing events and having a big turn out, manages his own sales team every summer, laughs a lot, and is pretty good looking on top of it all.  But my favorite thing about Judd is that he is a total closet nerd. 

                He will deny it to the bitter end, but guess what he just finished reading 20 minutes ago? Another Star Wars book.  And not only that, but he decided that he had to discuss it in great detail with me before he could start his homework.

                I am not a big Star Wars fan.  My first encounter with Star Wars was when I was in 7^th grade.  Stars Wars: Revenge of the Sith was coming out in theatre and my mother was so excited.  She is a big Star Wars fan so she made Chelsea and me go to the midnight showing with her.  I fell asleep half way through the movie and woke up (SPOILER ALERT) when Anakin is melting in the lava.  I remember Anakin yelling at Obi-Wan with his strange yellow eyes, and me having no clue what was going on.  So yeah.  After that experience, Star Wars was kind of a turn off for me and I haven’t really given it another chance since. 

                But Judd loves the Star Wars movies and books.  He was just teasing me and saying that our relationship would grow even stronger if we both got into Star Wars together.  Maybe.  We will see about that.  He did try to give me a crash course by explaining the light side and dark side, and the Rule of Two.  Anyone else know what Star Wars reference I am talking about when I say Rule of Two?  If you don’t, Judd could tell you.  Or I guess I could now. 

                It is pretty cute to see Judd and his love for reading.  I used to think that I loved reading, but I am an amateur lover when compared to Judd.  I love listening to him talk about books with his sister or my mom and I love finding out what book he is currently reading.  Sometimes I get annoyed when I want him to talk to me and he is sucked into an intense part, but I have learned to deal with it.  I just hope that our kids will share his love for reading and that they will grow up to be as smart as him.

                Well that is a short catch up on our life currently.  As more adventures unfold throughout the school year I will be sure to keep everyone posted!

Not Your Mama's Marriage Advice (appropriate for all ages)

          Today I saw that KSL had posted a link to one of their articles about a top 10 list that Utah had made.  The list?  The top 10 places for happy marriages.  Utah’s rank?  2nd. Not too shabby, if you ask me.  I saw that there were a few comments on the article, so I started reading them.  They were not encouraging.  Most of them were saying that they didn’t believe it and that all of the people who were sampled probably lied.  I couldn’t help but think about how sad that was.  Judd and I have been married 14 months now.  I know that we are still considered newlyweds and in that “honeymoon stage,” but a study done Deakin University in Australia shows that the first year of marriage is the hardest.  Looking back at this past year, I can say that it was the best year of my life.  Sure, there were moments that were difficult, but through it all I have come to love Judd even more that I thought I could.  So then why am I writing this?  Well, to all of the people out there who are not married, almost married, or married, I wanted to share some advice with you that I had never considered before.

                People love to give advice.  It isn’t always a bad thing.  Yes, there is bad advice, but I have always been under the impression that the more you learn about people’s experiences and what they would have done differently, the more you can avoid heartbreak and disappointment.  At two of my bridal showers, the guests were asked to write down marriage advice on pieces of paper.  I still have all of those papers and thought that I had heard it all.  There was no piece of advice that I hadn’t received yet.  I am sure that everyone feels this way when it comes to marriage advice, so I hope that as you read this, you will be open to hearing this advice and really thinking about it.  If you have already heard it then great.  It always nice to be reminded.  If you haven’t, then I hope that you can learn something from what I am writing.

                I would like to think that I have always been ambitious.  I probably became this way through my family.  My mother always told me that I could anything and everything.  My father would always be supportive of my new interests and allow me to take new classes or try new things.  And of course, I had to compete with my three older sisters who are all extremely successful and creative.  Let’s just say that from an early age, I knew that I had big plans for my life. 

                When I met Judd, I knew that I wanted to marry him.  Not because he was good looking or funny (both of which are pluses), but because I realized that he could help me reach my goals and aspirations.  There was something about him that made me look at him in awe.  Once we started dating, these realizations were only confirmed as we slowly came to realize that we had the same hopes and dreams for our futures.  Unlike anyone I had dated before, Judd was the one who wanted to be at the same place that I wanted to be in 20, 30, or 70 years. 

                Now let me clarify, Judd and I did not have the exact same goals.  He didn’t want to be a dance teacher like me.  He didn’t want to be a gourmet chef like me.  He didn’t want to own a dog shelter like me.  No, Judd had his own goals and his own career choices that he wanted to pursue.  However, he did want a wife that could stay motivated and would be open to try to new things.  Since I am constantly trying new things and starting new hobbies (like today I painted a picture.  ME.  PAINTING A PICTURE), I knew that Judd could help me fulfill those desires and support me through the way. 

                And that is the key part about this advice.  Is that it is different for everyone.  Not everyone has the same goals and not everyone wants to be the same person.  But, as you are looking for that someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with, make sure that they can help you fulfill your dreams.  I know that sounds so cheesy, but I promise that it is some of the best advice that I can give.  If you find someone who helps you fulfill your goals then you will never feel resentment towards them.  You will never look at them and be angry that they are holding you back.  You will never be upset and think that your life would be better if you weren’t tied to them.   

                So what if you are already married?  Well, look at your spouse and think about all that they have done for you—even if it is just the smile that they give you when they see you.  Think about all of the moments that they have supported you.  Can’t think of any?  Start looking for them.  I think that you will be surprised how many times you find that your spouse wants to support you.  The other day I told Judd that I wanted to get into mountain biking.  He suggested that when we get back to Utah, we talk to my Uncle (who is REALLY into mountain biking) and get some ideas on how to best get into it.  For all we know, I may not be interested in it anymore when we get back to Utah, but even Judd just suggesting that we talk to my uncle shows that he is willing to support me.

                And this advice shouldn’t just go one way either.  If you find someone who fulfills your dreams, you better make sure that you are willing to help fulfill theirs as well.

                Well that is my little bit of marriage advice.  Looking for the moments that Judd helps me fulfill my dreams and the moments that I help to fulfill his are really gratifying.  Here is to my last 14 months with Judd and many, many more!